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Like seriously a lot There was the chick with the sock puppet. Thats right, an honest to god sock puppet. The date had started out pretty well, they had laughed, they had joked and he was pretty sure he was going to get laid when she had invited him back to her house for “coffee”. Then sometime between making out and the bedroom, just when things were headed in the right direction, out came the fucking sock puppet. She even did an insane little voice when she made it talk.
What was worse than trying to get him to kiss it was when she had tried to make it give him a blow job. Though he supposed that given that it was a sock puppet it would actually be a hand job, but the point was that it was weird. He had beat a hasty retreat and she had seemed confused and angry that he hadn’t called her back for a second date
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I made the OkCupid profile of the Worst Woman on Earth, hoping to prove that there exists an online dating profile so loathsome that no man would message it. I failed.
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